Let it Out: The Ultimate Guide to Vent Writing
You know the days when you’re juuust feeling spicy. You feel the fire taking over your body and all you want is to tell someone off, complain, and let everyone know how ‘ughhh’ angry you are. Yet, you don’t like to be the person who overwhelms your friends with constant complaints, brings down the vibes or worse... Explodes at them for no reason!
And, if you’re like me, you know to just ‘suck it up’ isn’t a solution either. So, how do you navigate this situation? Well, experts recommend venturing into your journal and rage on the page. Curious? In this article, I share everything you need to know about ‘vent journaling’ and ways to do it right.
Ready? Let’s dive in!
What is vent writing?
I’m sure you’ve heard of gratitude journaling and writing down all the things you’re grateful for. While this technique is great, sometimes you might need the exact opposite.
When things are really just sh*t, you’re hurt, the world has wronged you, and you don’t feel like ‘choosing happiness’...That’s when vent writing comes in. You take your journal (paper or digital) and freely express all the things that bother you and that you’re pissed off about.
You can be as mean, rude, and emotional as you wish because… no one’s going to know! And, that’s the beauty of it. You let your rage out without hurting anyone’s feelings, avoid having friends judging you for being mean or too much, and prevent yourself from acting on your darkest impulses.
You let it out to your silent listener (your journal) and get a step closer to moving on with your life. ;).
Let’s check out 5 reasons you’ll love this practice:
1. It normalises the feelings of anger & frustration
So many people still think of anger as ‘bad’. However, experts don’t agree with this common opinion (and nor do we!).
As Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite, Ph.D., a counseling psychologist and mindset coach, told SELF magazine: “Like every other feeling, anger provides information. If you have found that you’re raging about something specific, anger might be pointing you toward something you need to acknowledge. So, it’s most helpful to try to embrace anger, learn from it, and then, well, set it free.”
2. You’ll gain a better perspective
If you’ve ever researched the basics of effective communication…You know the best way to solve a problem or a fight is with a cold head. Emotions aside and clearly stating what bothers you. Well, venting into your journal allows you to do exactly that!
You get to release all the emotions, be unfiltered, raw, and honest and have the space & distance to identify possible solutions. Then, you can bring these up for discussion with the person affected and have a more productive conversation.
Personally, I do this all the time whenever I’m frustrated with my partner. This method allows me to not hurt his feelings and even check if my anger makes sense. If yes, this prepares me to stay calm and communicate the problem with valid points and reasons.
3. You might feel more emotionally stable
Do you often find yourself on an emotional rollercoaster? If yes, vent journaling might be a game changer for you. According to APA, “Anger, even when justified, can quickly become irrational.” Taking some time to write down your feelings creates space and time to explore how much of your anger is rooted in reality.
Gayane Aramyan, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist and certified anger management facilitator explains this to Well+Good this way: “It (journaling) lowers heightened emotions and turns on the logical part of our brain and gives you a moment to reflect, and maybe think of the situation differently.”
You’ll gain more clarity and might be able to communicate from a more balanced state of mind.
4. You’ll activate your rest-and-digest system
When you’re angry or frustrated, you’re in fight or flight mode. You carry more stress in your body, your blood pressure is higher, and you might even experience anxiety.
Because venting allows you to process your feelings and eventually even relax…It’s a great practice for getting out of the fight or flight mode and activating the rest digest & system instead.
5. You won’t hurt anyone’s feelings
Here comes the best part. You can be as mean, rude, and scary as you’d like, you can throw F*bombs around, and no one has to suffer your emotional outburst. You embody your inner dramatic b*tch privately in your safe space (your journal) without anyone taking it personally or judging you for it. Pretty awesome, right?
Ready to let loose on paper? Here’s how ;)
So, if you’re sold on giving this a go, be sure to do it the right way. Because, while this practice is amazing, it should be constructive too.
Use prompts
Using prompts is the easiest way to enter any kind of journaling practice. Prompts point you in the right direction and might offer a mini-therapy session.
You can research some on Pinterest or start with these from the Grievance Journal:
What do you hate the most about winter?
What are the biggest ways others waste your time?
What did you want to say to someone but couldn’t?
Problem solve
Once you’ve released all your anger, be sure to try to identify the problems, patterns, and ways you can make changes. Your anger and frustrations are your guides to the things that don’t work or need some extra finetuning.
Set a vibe
Put on some tunes, get a delish beverage, take a few deep breaths, get comfy, and get yourself in the zone. This is the time to honor your feelings (yes, the angry ones) and feel safe to express anything that comes into your mind.
Follow this practice with a sweat sesh
Once you freed all your rage on the page, you can take this even further with ~ a fiery workout. Think of activities like going on a rage run, doing a HIIT at-home sesh, somatic body shaking, dancing, or taking a boxing class. It’s no secret that working out is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. So, go and fill up on those endorphins! ;)
If you don’t buy into always looking at the bright side, or forcing your life to always be just rainbows and unicorns, vent journaling is for you. You might be surprised how freeing this method is.
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